Keep Running 9

We all laughed at that; we still do. Eventually, after a year or so, Grace and I got up the nerve to tell the story. I told everything, and Grace filled in details I missed, and what she went through at BLI itself. We each told them about Seven from our own perspectives. To me, he was like a son, but to Grace he was an older brother, a best friend, and anything in between. She looked up to him. As an only child myself, it really sucks growing up. But at least from twelve on I had Frank, Ray, Mikey, and Gerard. Gerard was my hero, even growing up. I would get really depressed a lot and he’d help pull me out of all of it. He saved me, metaphorically speaking. Ray was like a big older brother body guard. He was so awesome, shooing the bullies away. Frank was like the dorky third cousin, twice removed. Nobody could help but like him, but we all hated him at the same time. Mikey was the love of my life. I didn’t realize it until he died, but he’d liked me all along. I never said I loved him, but it wasn’t like I didn’t. I hope he knew that. We found out later on that I was pregnant. I am pregnant, currently as I write this. We never got the boys’ bodies, but we did hold a service. It was beautiful and helped Grace and I, but not what the boys would’ve wanted. So later on, she and I went to their grave sides and graffitied them. We put their Killjoy names over their real names; that’s what they would’ve wanted. My biggest regret is that Mikey won’t get to see his daughter or son born. I don’t know how it’s going to work, birthing a baby, but we’ll get through it. We always have, we always will. We won’t let their death go in vein. I will find Korse and I will kill him. But I’ll wait because right now, family comes first. Grace and I each have six deaths to get avenged. Right now though, Seven, The Fabulous Four, Grace’s mom, and my dad will just have to wait. I will soon be a mother and we have Grace and Scarlet back. We will do the best we can. Killjoys have not been roaming as much, we have better business, and BLI makes less frequent check-up trips. I never have found out why they killed Thomas as they did, but I don’t intend to. It was unjust and it totally corrupted Gerard. He used to be the sweetest boy on the planet, then he became obsessed with revenge.
As I go through his bedroom to clear out for coming baby, I find drawings and song lyrics and short stories. I sift through them all and one catches my eye: The Kids From Yesterday.
Well now this could be the last of all the rides we take
So hold on tight and don't look back
We don't care about the message or the rules they make
We'll find you when the sun goes black

And you only live forever in the lights you make
When we were young we used to say
That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break
Now we are the kids from yesterday

All the cameras watch the accidents and stars you hate
They only care if you can bleed
Does the television make you feel the pills you ate?
Or every person that you need to be

Cause you only live forever in the lights you make
When we were young we used to say
That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break
Now we are the kids from yesterday

Today, today
We are the kids from yesterday
Today, today

Here we are and we won't stop breathing
Yell it out 'till your heart stops beating
We are the kids from yesterday, today

'Cause you only live forever in the lights you make
When we were young we used to say
That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break
Now we are the kids from yesterday
We are the kids from yesterday
We are the kids from yesterday
We are the kids from yesterday
Today, today

I sing this to my belly every night, and today I felt it kick for the first time. I was sitting in Mikey’s old bedroom. I looked to see him strumming on his guitar, only to find him not there. His sparkly silver bass sat propped up in the window. Doctor had made a nice crib for my baby and Scarlet had made some mini baby clothes. I felt happy, but also hollow. I really did miss the company of those rowdy boys throughout the house, but it was worth it for Scarlet and Grace, and I knew the guys felt the same. I never believed in God, I never had a reason to. I prayed for things to get better, that Thomas wasn’t actually dead, that Scarlet would be returned, but they never got answered. The guys didn’t really believe in God either, but I honestly hoped there was something for them. Not necessarily Heaven or Hell, definitely not some Limbo where you float around for eternity, but something.
As the wind blows and the seasons change, I think how each one is a personality of the guys. Summer is Frank, always happy-go-lucky and trying to make a joke. Mikey is definitely spring. It has a quiet dignity. Some days it’s cooler, some days it’s hotter, it really just depends. Ray would have to be fall. That was his favorite time of year. Gerard would be winter, because he was cold. It took a lot for him to let you in, and I do mean a lot, but it was so worth it in the end. He hardly ever smiled, but when he did, he could light up a room and everyone would stare. I miss his smile; sweet and forgiving. He could never hold a grudge with girls. They had a way about them that he just couldn’t refuse. I think that’s why I never remember him being mad at me. I cried a lot growing up, sometimes at the stupidest things, but he was always right there, the first one holding me. I need that now, that warm embrace. Would ten seconds really be too much to ask; just ten seconds with that awesome tomato hair little boy? When he let his guard down, he’d say I love you way more than necessary. I just want to say that to him one more time. The I love you to end all I love you’s.
Because I do, I love you, Gerard, I really do.